After Branch, went there chit chat, eat junklish. suicide reason 3: harming body unnecessarily. Evening back, i decided to go for jogging. 10 rounds at my taman park. The reasons beings for jog is that i hope to get little tired and avoid insomnia as well as putting my weight in control. suicide reason 4: over pushing unrest body. For dinner, since my mother didn't cook, my sisters and me go for KFC. Since i brought the family feast, there's lot of harmful food there. 1st, whole 1.5L of pepsi with full CO2, need not to mention about the fried chicken, and i sucked whole bottle of thai chili sauce sumore, the colesaw is suppose to be the healthy food initially, but they stored for too long. I think there's something wrong with it which recalling the fullness and taste could make me vomit immediately >_< . Since the preparation all done, there it go.
After the jog, making my stomach so much hungry, hence, as soon as pepsi opened, i sucked a cup at once, putting all CO2 inside my stomach, continued my placing fried chicken, allowing those oil to serve as a barrier and prevent the CO2 get lost from my stomach, eating big plate of colesaw which it ady has smtg wrong makes the situations worse... That night i vomitted twice at midnight 3 4 o clock. Resulting in wasting my money in a flush, and making my stomach gastric...
Saturday, i consult doctor, I had to say, BM all doctor useless d. Same pattern d. Talk 3 min, then give stupid medicine.... There goes my weekend, wasting 2 day acting like a patient, no mood to do things, no mood to eat, play, nor do the Final year project~~~
Monday, finally i gotten better. Meet with sy yeong, so jusco wash face... During the period my stomach pain like hell... As soon as i get home, took my dinner, then i been running the toilet every 5 minutes... Continously from 8.30 to 10.30 pm. in Chinese, 没有十次也有八次... I seriously consider smtg was wrong with my organ back then... Totally numb with it~~ That scenario can totally be discuss with sitting in front of the laptop, reading FYP infomation in just 2 words, or lines.... The stomach summon me to go toilet, repeatedly.
Tuesday, that problem still persist for 2 times i guess. After that, i am sicked with the frequent running toilet and instead of doing FYP, i play my PS2. Good thing is that i made a slightly tiny little progress with FYP which i managed to link my hardware, and download other ppl C programming, and retrieve the data inside. Still the coding is way too complicated. I need more time flexibility where there's no interruption on event, frens call, and neither the stomach ache to accomplished it. However, i see many of my friends have continued their progress pretty fast through plurk, blog and others... This making me feel very uncomfortable, beginning to stress. Thinking that i have not done much after for 4 months durations.... Haiz~ This only proves 1 thing, that i am not the engineer type of person and i can pretty sure of that.
On the other side of me, i re-evaluate myself, feelings, point of view towards the "BnG relationship". I figured it out finally, i was the one who choose to ended up become like this, cant blame anyone for it. I should mantain my very important concept which is 她快乐等于我快乐~ What matters is everyone important to me, stay healthy, happy and that's it. Although when i clicked at her FB page, there's still minor bleed occur in my heart, but i'll sure sooner the time will heal it. Let's keep my life as simple as now. Need not to mixed up all those relationship status which i not really need it now, so why bother it and let it pain inside my heart? I just afraid of the fact that most engineers are unable to get a wife even in their 30's age. Too busy i suppose. But for my case, i decided to set a target limit that in 5 years, if i still an engineer, i'll quit and begin the other job.
There's 1 more thing bothering me. Most of my classmate stayed in KL to pursue their FYP. Minority ppl like me stay at home for whole break. They can continue their FYP without distraction. But for me, living in KL is nice. But staying in uncle house is bad, horrible. There's no life there. I may wonder, what if i stay in KL, will i able to accomplish thing like my classmate? But deep beneath my heart i know that it is impossible, i'll miss my parents, friends, and homesicked...The choice's is mine. If i were given second chance, i'll choose the same path again, back hometown and meanwell continue my FYP. What regrets is that i need more determination on it as well as the environment for me to do it. Staying at my room in the afternoon is like staying in sauna, going downstairs and i'll get distract by my mother daily drama. Ishhh~~I need to find a solution to cope with it somehow.
I left 1 and a half week staying at BM, and the same time remaining to complete my FYP. Argh, thinking about the timeline is killing me.
Today's wednesday, hopefully after the meet with my ex housemate, and gathering with secondary mate, i can concentrate on my FYP. Wish my stomach stay in low profile today.... :-$
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